Saturday July 30th is International Day of Friendship
Communitas is a nonprofit that provides Direct Support Professional assistance in Poulsbo, Silverdale, Bremerton, and Port Orchard for adults with intellectual/developmental disabilities.
The International Day of Friendship is a day to promote friendship and fellowship among all human beings, regardless of race, religion, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity.
Developing strong bonds and solidarity with others isn’t always the easiest to achieve, especially with those who might be different than ourselves. We challenge you to try forming friendships outside of your typical friend groups. Especially if you are not friends with anybody who has disabilities, we challenge you to become friends with someone who might face different challenges than yourself. You will learn things you never thought, and hopefully gain an invaluable lifelong friend as a result.
Here are some tips/tricks for being friends with people who have disabilities:
1) Back them up by ensuring events and activities are fully accessible.
When you don’t have to think about accessibility for yourself, it is easy to forget about it. Make a habit of asking whether the restaurant/meeting place is wheelchair accessible before committing to a location. Make sure all of your friends can participate in the day’s activities, including your friends with disabilities.
2) Be understanding if they need to change or cancel plans.
Most people that are disabled can do everything that non-disabled people can. However their conditions can be unpredictable, and can cause them to cancel plans with friends/family. Most disabled people hate having to cancel plans or promises due to their situation. Sincerely withholding judgement and suggesting alternatives is a great way to support them as a friend.
3) Listen when they have something difficult to say.
Sometimes when a disabled person brings up stories of discrimination, lack of access, or abuse people think that it is “exaggerated”, because they seem so extreme and unfamiliar to your own personal experiences as a non-disabled person. Have empathy and compassion, and listen with an open mind. This is their true experiences/feelings both now and then. One of the most consistent forms of disconnect is people being skeptical of what disabled people say. Acceptance and validation makes a tremendous difference.
4) Follow the disabled person’s lead regarding humor and self-deprecation.
While humor can be fun and strengthen bonds between friends and family, ask the disabled person how they honestly feel about it, and follow their lead. Disabled people can sometimes use self-deprecating humor about their own disabilities as a way to lighten the mood and cope with their struggles. This isn’t providing you with blanket permission to make “half-serious” complaints such as being a “slow poke”, “klutz”, “spaz”, or “getting in the way”. These comments can come across as worse when it comes from someone that the disabled person genuinely cares about.
5) Advocate WITH disabled people, not for them.
While it can be tempting to step in and take over advocacy efforts for your disabled friend, ask them for permission first. Most disabled people are at least somewhat experienced at self-advocacy. There is a difference between speaking for a disabled person and over a disabled person. Don’t be a “spokesperson” that directs them; instead follow their lead and support them.
For more information, please visit: https://www.un.org/en/observances/friendship-day